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[alt.humor.best-of-usenet] [alt.religion.emacs] Encounter with The Doctor: Session 255



From: Will Mengarini <seldon@eskimo.com>
Subject: [alt.religion.emacs] Encounter with The Doctor: Session 255
Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
Date: 13 Apr 1996 14:18:53 GMT
Organization: best of usenet humor
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Newsgroups: alt.religion.emacs
From: jolomo@netcom.com (Joe Morris)
Subject: Encounter with The Doctor: Session 255


I am the psychotherapist.  Please, describe your problems.  Each time
you are finished talking, type RET twice.

I feel tired

Why do you say you feel tired?

I drag ass around the office and lounge around at night

I would appreciate it if you would watch your tongue!

I drag butt around the office and lounge around at night

What makes you believe that?

Cause that's how I feel!!

Can you elaborate on that?

My butt drags around at the office all day

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

Well yeah, I wanna go home at the end of the day. That's my plan

Are you sure that you might want to go home?

OF COURSE!!!! I admit I might want to go home

How does it feel to want?

It makes me hot

Is it because of your life that you say it makes you hot?

More because of my throbbin jock

Are you sure that is the real reason?

Ok, maybe I feel it's my civic duty

Earlier you said you would like to go home?

I already am home. And that's part of the problem.

Is it because of your throbbin jock that you are going through all
this?

Either that, or its because of the hot mamma jamma that works at my bank

Is it because or its because of the hot mamma jamma that works at your
bank that you came to me?

No. Really I've been wondering -- Did Miles Davis actually sell out in
the 80s?

I don't understand.

Miles. Was he saying something or just trying to hold onto a good
contract with Columbia?

You mentioned that you would like want to go home?

Yeah, right. Where is "home" really? Is it love or is it comfort?

Does it bother you that it loves someone?

Who? You mean The Blob loves someone?

Are you annoyed that blob loves someone?

No, no. It's just kind of.... unexpected.

How do you reconcile the people you hang around with?

The people? Well I take them on their own terms -- don't try to change people.

Perhaps this has something to do with problems at school?

You mean I should go to school again? I don't think I'm ready for that.

Perhaps you could continue.

And what become a Doctor of Computer Science. Like that would mean
anything. Jeez

You have your mind on computers, it seems.

Well my mind and my survival. Yeah

Do you really think you would like to go home?

What are you talking about?

Possibly any hobbies you have are related to this.

What? Like reading

reading what?

Well books about politics lately

Is it because of your sex life that you are going through all this?

I doubt it. I think it's at just the right level

What makes you think that?

I'm happy

Do you get happy often?

Twice a day and never on Sundays (crash*crash)

You mentioned that you would like want to go home?

Well that's not important now. Let's talk about broken hearts

How do you reconcile hangups you have?

I think them through, you know? You have to examine your drives

I don't understand.

Well, it's like if you want money, you do things that get you
money. If you want peace you contemplate and get fat. If you're violent
you'll never be able to organize your life.

Why do you say blob loves someone?

Oh, actually I was kind of kidding. I made that up

Go on, don't be afraid.

Well sometimes I tell a fib

Maybe this is related to your inhibitions?

An inhibition to being truthful? Hmm I hadn't really thought about
it. You may be right

Perhaps some problems in your childhood could have caused this.

No, I don't think so. It was actually a pretty smooth sail

Earlier you said you would like to go home?

Will you lay off? Sometimes you're perceptive but sometimes you're
just a bore

Did you ever regret sometimes I am just a bore?

Well sure.

Is it because of some problems at home that you are going through all
this?

Not really. Maybe it's the commute (crash*crash)

What makes you believe not really maybe it's the commute crash crash?

What is that, a new band or something?

When did you first know that a new band or something?

Could you be a little clearer?

You mentioned that or its because of the hot mamma jamma that works at
your bank?

Oh her. Well she's not really that wonderful. She's sort of a bore too

Is the fact that wonderful she's sort of a bore too the real reason?

Huh?

I need a little more detail please.

Well let's just say she's not an important part of the puzzle

How do you reconcile your plans?

I don't have any! It's very relaxing

Is it because of your life that you say you do not have any it's very
relaxing?

That would be a good name for a sofa brand "It's Very Relaxing" I like it

Does the fact that would be a good name for a sofa brand it's very
relaxing you like it explain anything else?

My god woman! Get ahold of yourself

Are you sure that you were happy?

Well I was when I said it

What happened when you said it?

I made a joke at your expense

Possibly this could be the reason for your throbbin jock?

You? Eliza? Surely not you.

Eliza?  Hah!  Please, continue.

I just don't think I'm ready for this kind of commitment

Have you been frightened by that?

Sometimes, late at night. Yeah

Earlier you said you would like want to go home?

Enough with it, Ok?

Maybe the people you hang around with could be the reason for this.

Yeah, people like you. Yeah, that could be the reason

Do you really think that?

Hell yeah!

Would you please avoid such unwholesome thoughts.

So, you think you're pretty wholesome, huh?

You mentioned that blob loves someone?

I told you, I was kidding. There is no blob

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