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(Fwd) Re: Scientists Discover New (fwd)

---------- Forwarded message from toni@vmars.tuwien.ac.at on Thu, 28 Mar 1996 11:11:04 +0100 (MET) -----------
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From: Anton Schedl <toni@vmars.tuwien.ac.at>
Subject: (Fwd) Re: Scientists Discover New (fwd)
To: jokes@tunix.vmars.tuwien.ac.at
Date: Thu, 28 Mar 1996 11:11:04 +0100 (MET)
Organization: University of Technology, Vienna, Austria
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Forwarded message:

In at.fido.nofun, Gabriel.Kittel@2-310-3-0.st.co.at (Gabriel Kittel)


>The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
>university physicists. The element, tentatively named
>Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an
>atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 15
>assistant neutrons, 70 vice assistant neutrons, and 161 associate
>vice assistant neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass = of 247.
>These 247 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force
>that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles
>called morons.

>Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it
>can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes
>into contact with.  According to the discoverers, a minute amount
>of Administratium added to one reaction caused it to take over
>four days to complete. Without Administratium, the reaction
>ordinarily occurred in less than one second.

>Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three
>years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead
>undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice
>assistant neutrons, and associate vice neutrons exchange places.
>Studies seem to show the atomic number actually increases after
>each reorganization.

>Research indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the
>atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in certain locations such as
>government agencies, large corporations and universities. It can
>be found in the newest, best-appointed and best-maintained

>Scientists warn that Administratium is known to be toxic, and
>recommend that you start drinking heavily even after low levels
>of exposure.


   _  | Peter J. Holzer             | Contrary to popular belief, Unix is very 
|_|_) | Sysadmin WSR                | user friendly. It just happens to be very
| |   | hjp@wsr.ac.at               | selective about who it's friends are.
__/   | http://wsrx.wsr.ac.at/~hjp/ |     -- Kyle Hearn

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